Lost in the Forest of Fear & Frustration

Once upon a time…yes, this story starts nice and vague.

There is a road that only ever sees one traveller. It is narrow, long and bordered on both sides by tall, thick forest…

Just before sundown, the traveller on this path approaches through the mist that spreads its tendrils from the depths of the forest.

It’s a woman. She is trudging along with a slow and steady gait. Wearing a long coat, hood up, head down, watching the rhythmic steps of her feet.

The night is still a few hours away, but the low cloud and encroaching mists make it seem much closer. She’s not scared. She’s not feeling anything. She is only aware of her measured gait as she’s plodding along. She has no idea how long she’s been walking like this; she just needs to keep going. Just keep stepping onward.

She doesn’t see it, but there is a clearing in the trees just ahead, and a dim shaft of light from the setting sun permeates the gloom.

Her steps falter as she approaches the clearing; she loses her footing and falls to the side. As she looks up, the sudden light in her dark-adjusted eyes startles her, and she falls into the bordering forest and undergrowth.

It’s dark…
So dark…

The thick growth on the forest floor threatens to trip her. The sharp branches and thorns tear at her coat. She is lost and disorientated with no way of finding her way back. Stumbling and scrambling in the dark, she travels farther from her path.

A branch tears the hood from her head, and she tries to pull it back to protect her head, but it’s torn away from the coat, and she thrashes against the crowding trees. Tiring and dejected, she twists in place, trying to find a hint of her way back.

There is a glimmer of light now she’s no longer shrouded in her hood, and she slowly picks her way in that direction. The branches and thorns still hinder her progress, but slow and considered manoeuvring allow her to progress.

Despite the shimmering hint of light, she still takes some wrong turns, but something is calling her back to the safety of the path and the comfort of familiarity—a soft voice in the back of her mind.

Eventually, she emerges from the trees but is no longer on her familiar path. She has returned to the single shaft of light. She tries to find the path she was on, but it has disappeared, entirely obliterated by the mist.

There is no clear path to follow, only the thick mist solidifying into an impenetrable barrier of fog.

Turning and confused, she keeps looking for her path, but nothing appears. She sits cross-legged on the floor, letting the dying sun shine on her face.

As the low cloud and mists block the last rays, she feels the chill of encroaching night and tries to pull up the missing hood. Obviously, she can’t.

As the light slides into the darker shades of dusk, the fog banks seem to retreat on all sides. With every inch of retreating fog, new pathways appeared. First three, then four, six, ten and more…

The fog stops retreating, leaving only the first few steps of each pathway. There is no indication of what will come on any of the paths, but there is no way to determine her original one.

She is stuck.

She has a choice: stay here forever in a limbo state or choose a path.

But how does she choose?

She climbs to her feet and approaches the nearest path. The foggy barrier doesn’t shift and gives no more hints of the path ahead.
She makes her way around the clearing, but none of the new roads give any clues to their destination or hazards along them.

What does she do?
How does she choose?



Yes, she is me…

You meet me here at the beginning of the path I chose.

How did I choose?

It wasn’t a case of choosing a path with no indications of the road. It was choosing something inside me. Instead of arbitrarily choosing a random path, I decided what I wanted from my journey. Closing my eyes and seeing a road I wanted for my future directed me to the path I should take…

The fog did not diminish as I began my first steps along it, but I had a newfound belief that I could determine what came next. 

Even if I don’t like what happens next, I’ve lost (maybe abandoned) my blinding hood. I can see where I’m going and correct my course. 

I’m just starting this journey, but I feel more involved and active in my own life than I have for years. 

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