I have the ambition, but I have frequently stumbled, wandered, and gotten distracted from the path to success.
A teacher in my primary school planted the first seed of ambition and my initial inspiration. On advancing beyond the realms of Ginn Level proscribed reading, I discovered Robert Louis Stevenson with Treasure Island, which inspired me to join the ranks of spellbinding writers. I loved that teacher so much, but I have more to say about him that doesn’t fit here.
The ambition got lost for a while when I had plunged once more into the mundanity of compulsory reading. I know that carefully structured reading material is vital for gauging reading levels in infant and junior schools, but please, for the love of reading, make it engaging and inspiring. In their entirety, I would like to BURN the collected works of Ginn Level Book writers, for their diabolical imitation of literature.
I discovered other writers as I got older. I found poetry and classics that made me tingle and experience the world between the covers. Embracing fantasy and alternative histories alongside science fiction, romance, and horror – I didn’t discriminate in my pursuit of books to read. The more I read, the more ambition I gained. However, the more astounding books that I read, the more fearful I became; the more daunting the task of building worlds and environments that would entrance my readers as much as my heroes had enchanted me.
Life Experience = Enhanced Ambition + Greater Depth
I lost and regained the ambition several times between then and now, but it seems to be distinctly consistent, right now. I’ve continued to write, but few have seen any of it, some I have thrown away, some are hiding in notebooks, and some is languishing on flash drives (I think there may even be some on floppy disks in my parents’ attic). The entire point of this blog is to make me let go of what I’ve done, allow it to gain notice, develop, improve and draw critique. No matter how critical I am of my work, it will never get any better if there is no outside influence. Evolution cannot happen without a change in the environment.
I am just starting with the blog, and it is so hard to let the words go. It is challenging enough to let go of the factual and opinion pieces, like this, but letting go of a fictional creation is harder than anything I have ever done.
Letting go is just one more step that I have to take.
I like this analogy; The aim is the starting point, and ambition is the wind that blows you along. The path is straight and narrow, but it has many junctions and quite often, the breeze blows you off course, or the wind dies, but there is always a way back to the path. The ambitious breeze will always pick up again. Alternatively, the detour turns into another track. At least, that’s the theory I’m working with, and I’m sticking to it.