Ancestry and Family Ties

This week I had a message on Ancestry.com about my grandmother. I never knew much about my family beyond my grandparents and up to great aunts and uncles (with the exception of one great-great aunt who stuck around well into her nineties). I began to think about how little I know about some of my family. I know that I’m named for my maternal great grandmother (my actual name and its spelling are quite rare) but beyond knowing that her sister was a spinster embroiderer I know very little about many of them including their names.
I began thinking about what I would be able to tell my children. Now that we don’t live in the UK surrounded by our families it’s even more important to be able to tell our children who they are in relation to our families.
This is where it gets difficult, my hubby has family that he has never met or that he hasn’t spoken to in decades, not through his own choice but through family rifts and feuds that have never been resolved. I know it bothers him but how does he even contemplate trying to make contact with people who he’s never met without causing grief in the family he already has? It bothers me because I know that my (fictitious, potential, not here yet) children will have aunts, uncles and cousins they will never know and it will stem from unresolved arguments and grudges held. It bothers me because I don’t want to bring up my children in an environment where family is so easily discarded and ignored.
My family is large, loud, loving and broad and we don’t let feuds and arguments with one member cloud our thinking with the rest. My hubby’s family is small, just his parents, his sister and her sons (not counting the numerous cousins, nephews, nieces etc. who are not in contact) and that knowledge hurts my heart , when I think of the family I am blessed with and knowing there is potential for my husband to have similar.