The Art of Making Friends

hqdefaultWhat makes one person so able to make friends and others not so much? No I’m not about to deliver a lecture on the subject, I’m asking the question because I would love to know the answer.

I am a married woman living with her husband in a new home town, screw that, a new home country, and I realised that I have never been very good at making new friends. You live your whole life in one place and your closest friends are ones you made in primary school and, even those, you don’t see all that often. I’ve made work friends (a phrase coined by one of those friends was “work-based convenience” i.e. someone to go for a drink with after work) but not more than a few made it past leaving said workplace.

My two best friends are my sister and my husband it doesn’t say much for my social skills that one is related by blood and the other by marriage. Admittedly I probably wouldn’t be married if my social skills were that bad. I have never allowed myself to be close enough to others and if I do allow it I tend to come off as ‘needy’, so I generally avoid that.
So here I am, in a new town, in a new country, in need of a new skill-set I hadn’t realised I was lacking (not counting the need to learn the language, I’m working on that).

I know that I’m shy, a drawback when trying to make new friends, and that when I was living in my home town I had coping mechanisms. In short, I’d learned to fake it. Do I need to learn to fake it again, in a whole new environment? Probably.

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